What a fucking new year

I hadn't gone to somewhere to play and relax my self and back my original home for gathering in this year.
I just took care of my hospitalized animal and make my M&M report.
Every time I recalled this, I wanna cry.
Somebody can tell me whenever I can be free.

Busy

I wanna do so many things, including learning English, Japanese, reading books that I really wanna read, but I was very busy to do anything, including writing this article.
Which day can I really be free?
Please coming soon, ok?

Unhappy

I am very unhappy this year.
I can't come back to my original home because I need to take care of my hospitalize patient.
My wife said she didn't know how to interact with my grandma, and then she come back to her original home for 3 days.
That make me so anger, upset and disappointed.
Maybe I am suitable to be alone and stay with my real family.

Confusion

I always envy others have good life quality.
Why do I always compare with those?
I wanna know how a layperson become to an expert and has good life quality at the same time.
At least ,interest now is a shit and not likely to be eaten as food.
Interest and life quality are totally different ways.
Finally, will I choose interest or life quality?
I wanna know this answer.